Just Passing Through

I realize despite my inner turmoil and the immense uncertainty of the road ahead - that I am very at peace, mentally.

I hate that it took me this long to just live day to day and enjoy myself without constant worry and anxiety about what tomorrow will bring. Everything has always worked out in the past, and it will continue to be that way in the future. Who knows how much more time any of us are guaranteed? So shouldn't we make the best of it, and make the biggest impact we can in whatever our current endeavors are?

No worries. No regrets. No wasting away the precious moments in this brief period we are on this planet.  I know I have said this before but it still resonates with me - "God has you exactly where He wants you in life right now."

"For this reason I say to you, do not be anxious for your life, as to what you shall eat, or what you shall drink ; nor for your body, as to what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? " Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? " And which of you by being anxious can add a single cubit to his life span?

Matthew 11:28-30 

The Haves and Have Nots

It's easy to get disheartened when as soon as you get your paycheck it is dissipated between rent, utilities, groceries, and other expenses necessary for simple living. It is also easy to count the things you wish you were able to afford - getting your hair done, pedicures, a dress that is not on the clearance rack.

So I have decided to make a list of all the things that I DO have:

• God
• A wonderful, supporting family
• Justin Moss - my love and motivation
• My friends who provide me with an escape from my troubles
• Fred the Ted <3
• An associates degree, a bachelors degree, and only a small amount of student loans remaining to pay off
• A full-time job
• A home with heating and A/C
• A comfy bed to fall asleep in at night
• INTERNET
• Cable television
• Eden, my acoustic guitar
• A car with under 50K miles on it

So even though there are objects I would like to have, things I would like to do, and places I would like to go - I am very fortunate and blessed, especially in comparison to many other individuals across America/

Throw in the Towel

I don't like pity parties, but today is the exception for one of these types of blogs. It was just an awful day. The kind of day that  makes you wonder if the valley in life you are currently in can get any lower.

I feel..
Ashamed. Hopeless. Exhausted. Disheartened.

I used to be..
Confident. Hopeful. Invigorated. Optimistic.

Please, can that old way of thinking come back? Can I go uphill.. even if it's just for a little while?

I hate being this way. I hate wanting to come home and go to sleep because that is the only time I can free my mind.

Where Do See Yourself in Five Years?

Today I was blessed enough to have the opportunity to go to the Chick-fil-A home office while doing some training.  The best way to describe my experience would to make you think of those Disney commercials where they parents surprise their children about going there on vacation and the kids FLIP out.

I felt just like that. Completely overwhelmed and astounded at the property, building, and atmosphere. I finally got to meet all the staff members who I correspond with on a regular basis via e-mail. I even got to meet Truett Cathy in his beautiful office!

Words can not describe how bad I want to work there.

Now to make my dream a reality.

Turn the Page

“There is a power that can be created out of pent-up indignation, courage, and the inspiration of a common cause, and that if enough people put their minds and bodies into that cause, they can win. It is a phenomenon recorded again and against in the history of popular movements against injustice all over the world.” 
― Howard Zinn


I have a very anxious & restorative personality. I worry over every minute little detail and try to fix every problem that I encounter, whether it is relevant to me or not. Sometimes, what I consider a "problem" is not even the usual definition. Of course in some aspects these are good qualities,  but they can also be a detriment.


I tend to get stuck on ONE page in whatever chapter I may be in my life. Stuck re-reading and mulling over the smallest scintilla of information. ONE action - ONE word - Beating myself up over what I could have done better.


As with any aspect of your life or personality that you want to change - it doesn't happen overnight. But I am quickly learning to move on. I can never get to the next chapter, which may be the one where all the puzzle pieces collide into a beautiful picture that is my life, if I am stuck irrationaly re-reading a page in the past that is irrelevant. 


So here's to turning the page - moving on - and staying steadfast and faithful to God.

Life of a 22 Year Old

It has been over a month since I have updated this. Yikes.. I have been quite the busy bee!

Working full time has definitely been a blessing, but has taken some getting used to. I think I am officially into my "routine" now.
My new favorite things are going running after work in this newly beautiful weather, taking epsom salt baths while listening to my classical piano Pandora station, and getting in bed before midnight. I sound like such a sophisticated adult, but my roommate just caught me sitting in bed in my PJ's, eating a Buddy Fruit pouch and laughed a little. I must also comment that I still find myself going out with friends on weekends and acting like a college kid again sometimes, which is nice.

A week from today is mine and Justin's 4 year anniversary. It's crazy to think that we've been together this long, through thick and thin and him moving all over the state of Georgia. He defends his thesis in a month and found out today he got an internship in Florida, so he'll be moving down there in August.  Once again, as I have said many times, as soon as you get in your comfort zone - things change again. Onto the next stage of our relationship with our heads held high and big hopes for our future together.

Momentum

If you know me at all, you know this quote pretty much describes me in all aspects of my life, whether it be how I performed in school, the outlook I have at work, as well as in my fitness goals. I do not feel like I have done anything unless my limits have been pushed.

I feel the need to reiterate how wonderful 2012 has been so far. I'm keeping momentum in all my resolutions, and I am loving it! I am about six weeks into my new workout routine (Zumba, running, strength training, and the basic standard stuff).I think my new level of fitness is helping me stay motivated in all areas of my life because I am left feeling energized and good about myself.

I absolutely LOVE my new position at work. It feels good to actually be able to use my degree towards something, and to be gaining invaluable experience. I am beyond thankful for the opportunities I have been given at Truett's. I never would have imagined on September 1, 2009, my first day on the job, that it would've taken me this far.  God has truly worked in my life over the past few years since I've been in Griffin.

So.. yeah.. that's how life is going and I'm very happy.

"Life is All About Stages & Changes.."

Us humans are pretty adaptable. We learn new things and adjust ourselves to them fairly quickly and without problems.
When we graduate high school and are scared of college, we overcome our fears and get out and meet new people and learn how to self-motivate.
When we graduate college we have to decide what path to take, and quickly assume new responsibilities.
We do these things, some with more grace than others, but that does not necessarily make them easy.

It's never "easy" to leave your comfort zone. But if there's one thing I've learned over the past few years is that you are never allowed to stay in your comfort zone for long. As soon as something becomes routine or normal, it gets mixed up.
Whether its professors with ridiculous expectations... living on your own for the first time.. or the last hug goodbye before your boyfriend moves 2 hours away for school.

These things are NEVER easy.  But you adapt, and you grow stronger. If nothing else, you will have thick skin and can say "I remember when I thought *this* was going to defeat me, but it didn't."

So here's to responsibilities and changes, and other things that have not and will not get the best of me.

He Will Not Fail You

As 2012 gets on its way I am forced to once again realize and be in awe of God's faithfulness.

2011 was an amazing year, but it definitely had it's moments. Hospital visits, kidney infections, sickness amongst family and friends. Of course, I made it through all of these trials, but only because of God's hand.

I suppose the most trying of all the events in 2011 was when my Dad's cataract surgery somehow went wrong and he lost his vision in the affected eye. Seven long weeks went by with us not knowing what would happen, or if he would be able to get his vision back without having surgery that he was told might not even work. I had never prayed so hard for anything in my life as I did for God to heal him.
And it was a Saturday morning, and I was at Truett's waiting tables when I got the call from Mom that he woke up and could see again.

It was God who gave me the strength to not give up all the nights I was up until 2am working on financial statements and marketing plans for my summer class that I swore was going to kill me. And He also provided me with the financial means during the months I wasn't sure I was going to have enough to make ends meet.

So I have faith that He will also be with me throughout 2012, holding me up on the days I have trouble. He has already provided me with some awesome opportunities that came at just the right time.

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

2012 - Resolutions and Ramblings

January 1st 2012.
I'm assuming that later in the year I will come back and read this blog and wonder exactly how I felt on the first day of the new year.

Well, its 4:51PM, I just got home from Justin's house. He was home all this past week which was very nice. I'm not used to getting to see him more than two days in a row. We went to a NYE party last night which was fun. So now I'm laying in my bed, watching Food Network, have clothes in the dryer, and just finished putting up some new posters on my music wall. I am happy but not content. I'm ready for the next step in life. It's time for some changes, now that I have graduated college. So that's how I felt at 4:51 on January 1, 2012.

Now for some resolutions.

I resolve to be more kind and patient. To not let people who will not matter in the long run influence how I feel. No one will dictate how I view myself or how I view what I am capable of. I will be a better musician. By summertime, I will have the best body of my entire life. I will have a new laptop [hopefully sooner than later]. I will visit either Seattle, Washington or Bar Harbor, Maine. I will have my student loan completely 100% paid off and continue to live within my means.